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💌 FAB AT FIFTY PLUS: YOUR MIDLIFE LOVE LETTER
Issue No. 3 – Tuesday, June 17, 2025
🖤 From Izzie’s Desk
Subject: The Power to Choose: A Love Letter to Our Autonomy
Hey Fab Fam,
This week, we lost someone who, for many of us, was a cultural coming-of-age icon. Ananda Lewis represented visibility on television during a pivotal time in my life—when I was becoming, and when it was critical for girls like me to see ourselves reflected onscreen.
I vividly remember being in awe of her on BET, especially on Teen Summit. That show brought in teenagers to discuss serious topics that directly affected our generation. What made Teen Summit so powerful was its commitment to framing those conversations from our point of view. Coming from a culture that often insisted young people “keep quiet and let the adults talk,” hearing our perspectives valued was deeply validating.
The two hosts I remember most were Lisa Johnson and Ananda Lewis. They were intelligent, beautiful, and inspiring. They made me believe in my own potential. Ananda stood out especially—she had the poise of a model, the intellect of a scholar, and a unique charisma that allowed her to transition seamlessly from serious talk show host to MTV VJ. She belonged in both spaces, and we believed her in both.
I admired her beauty, was inspired by her advocacy, and awed by her intelligence. Her complexity as a public figure made her feel both aspirational and relatable. That’s why her passing affected me so deeply.
As someone who believes in science and medicine, I struggled to understand her decision to forgo a mastectomy in favor of a homeopathic approach. I didn’t want to be judgmental, but I did have questions—because we all did. Talking about it isn't criticizing her; it’s a way of trying to understand.
That’s why I asked my friend, Lucinda, someone who has faced a similar decision, to write about it. I wanted to hear from someone with lived experience. Some might think it’s disrespectful to examine Ananda’s choice, but I believe honest conversations, approached with care and curiosity, can be powerful learning tools. In that way, Ananda is still leading the panel discussion.
We all come from different life experiences that shape our choices. Intelligence doesn’t guarantee uniform decisions—it’s context, history, and personal truth that shape them. Ananda’s path was influenced by her own journey, her family, and countless things we may never know.
Lucinda wrote something that stuck with me: “Is it only the right decision if you survive?” If Ananda had lived to 80, we might have praised her for staying true to herself despite opposition. So what does “the right decision” really mean? Ultimately, it can only be defined by the person making it.
We live in a time when men are trying to make decisions about women’s bodies under the guise of what’s “right.” But right for whom? Not for the woman forced to carry a rapist’s child. Not for the woman risking her life during a pregnancy she can’t end. Someone else’s version of “right” can be a life-altering burden for someone else.
Choice is a beautiful thing. Autonomy is a beautiful thing. And if this moment has taught me anything, it's that while we may never fully understand someone else’s choices, the most powerful thing we can offer is our support and respect—whether or not they follow our advice.
We won’t always get it right. But the right to choose—our bodies, our peace, our paths—is an act of self-love.
And in midlife? Choosing ourselves—whether it’s for health, happiness, or healing—is how we begin to step into the woman we were always meant to become, no matter where the journey takes us.
🧠 Midlife Mind Reset
Let Go of the Fantasy That Peace Always Feels Good
Peace doesn’t always feel like joy.
Sometimes it feels like grief.
Or silence.
Or being broke and second-guessing everything.
You can make the right decision for your sanity—
and still miss what you walked away from.
But in midlife, we stop chasing guarantees.
Because there are none.
We simply choose the path that lets us sleep at night.
Peace isn’t always pretty.
But it’s always yours.
💡 Expert-ish Tip of the Week
(You know I’m not a doctor—just a woman who’s been through some things.)
When you’re stuck between two choices, ask yourself:
“Which one brings me closer to who I’m becoming?”
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🎙️ Real Talk
The Weight of Choice, The Gift of Grace
Many of us make decisions every day that don’t lead to the outcomes we hoped for.
But we make those choices with the knowledge, resources, and emotional capacity we have in that moment.
We choose through the lens of fear, hope, memory, and experience.
We choose while carrying invisible weights—trauma, pressure, exhaustion, love.
Thankfully, most of those decisions aren’t life or death.
So we learn, adjust, and move forward.
And as we move, we give ourselves grace—for doing the best we could with what we had,
and with what we felt strong enough to carry.
That’s all any of us can do.
So whatever you chose—especially the hard stuff—I hope you give yourself some grace this week.
Fun Section
✨ QUIZ TIME ✨
Are You Really at Peace—or Just Good at Pretending?
You’ve cut people off. You’ve set boundaries.
But deep down… are you actually at peace—or just exhausted?
👉 Take the Peace Check-In Quiz below and find out:
🧘🏾♀️ Journal Prompt
“What’s one choice I made recently that I’m proud of—even if no one else saw it?”
Write it down. Celebrate it.
🎶 Playlist Vibe of the Week
“Strength, Courage & Wisdom” – India Arie
This Week's Guest Contributor: Lucinda McIntosh
We're honored to welcome Lucinda McIntosh to Fab at Fifty Plus as this week’s featured writer.
Lucinda is an 8-year breast cancer survivor, devoted mother, and upcoming memoirist. Her lived experience brings deep insight, heartfelt reflection, and authenticity to this week's featured article on the passing of beloved TV personality, Ananda Lewis.
When I asked Lucinda to write this piece, I knew her voice could hold both truth and tenderness—because she’s walked a similar path. Here’s what she shared about being invited to write:
“When Isma asked me to write this piece, it made me stop and think. What made me choose my course of action? Why did I think mine was the right way for me and why did she think her choice was the right decision for her?
Recently I lost my cousin who refused to get surgery, because his brother had the same diagnosis and in the end surgery didn’t save him. So he opted out and died not too long after. At first his refusal was a bitter pill to swallow but we had to come to terms with it. We don’t always understand, but we have to respect each other’s decisions.
So who knows why she refused surgery. Is it fair for us to judge without knowing her thought process? Where was she mentally, emotionally? All information pointed to her feeling overwhelmed and not able to process a double mastectomy. My take is, as with anything, choosing a course of action should be after thorough investigation. Once that’s done and you have come to terms with the decision then that IS the right decision for you.”
This Week’s Blog
Read this week’s blog by clicking below:
🛍️ Fab Find of the Week
Fifty, Fabulous, and Forgetful: A Menopause Blank Journal for the days when you walk into a room and forget why. For the mornings when your coffee’s in the microwave (again). When you had something so important to say, but—poof—it’s gone.
Use it to:
🖊️ Capture thoughts before they vanish
🔥 Vent when the heat is more than hormonal
💡 Jot down genius midlife ideas
💤 Track sleep, symptoms, or the dreams you can still remember
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“Girl, you need to read this newsletter.”